MY GOD, these two girls - Shay Sights and Brooke Hunter - both have the kind of inflated boobage that makes you think of Macy's parade. In the strip club's V.I.P. room, bob has hired them to give a special lap dance. Their rule is simple: No touching. Bob agrees - as always - and as always, he soon breaks his word. So naturally, Brooke slaps him - hard. "I didn't touch you," bob whines. "It was, er, the chair that touched you." The dancing is over. Time for the slapping to begin. Get ready, guys - this is THE face-slapping epic. "Listen, this face is not for slapping," bob whines. WHAP! For every snotty comment he makes, the girls respond with a fusillade of faceslapping torture. Yet that dumbshit never quite makes the connection. "I'm going to take my business elsewhere!" bob pleads. "What is it with this slapping shit?" The situation is actually very simple: One girl grabs his head by the hair, while the other tries to whack his head until it bleeds. "I wanna see some fucking tits," bob complains. "I paid for a lapdance, after all." Ore insolence! They trap his head in the smother chair - hey, doesn't EVERY strip club have one of those? - then continue with the face-slap assault. "Oww! That was my EAR!" bob screams. Shay responds by boxing BOTH of her ears. "You know," bob explains, "I'm just not coming here any more." And still the faceslap torment comes - like a piston engine: WHAPPITY WHAPPITY THWAP! Poor bob wanted a lap dance - instead, he got a slap dance.

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